I read a wonderful quote about how a grandmother's duty isn't just to give gifts but to be present in the lives of her grandchildren. It made me think about all the wonderful ways our mothers enrich the lives of our children. The presence of a grandmother is truly the best gift.
We are all aware that grandmothers make the best gifts! Her greatest contribution to our children's lives, however, is not in the form of material gifts. In fact, if you ask your children what grandma means to them, I'm sure "she gives us cool stuff" isn't near the top of the list.
Okay, depending on your child's age, it might. They will, however, learn to appreciate all the other wonderful things she did for them simply by being present as they grow older. What are they? Why I'm delighted you inquired! Let's talk about it.
1. Providing for her grandchildren
A grandmother's most important role is probably to support her grandchildren. No way, not financially (although sometimes she does do that, too). Our children understand that they always have someone else in their corner besides us simply by knowing that she is there for them through thick and thin.
2. Being there for us when we need it
Along with supporting our children, our mothers (and even mother-in-laws) support us. I'm not talking about money here. She provides support by babysitting, talking us through difficult decisions, and giving advice when we need it (and even when we don't want it). She understands that by assisting us, she is also assisting her grandchildren.
3. Providing moral guidance to our children
We parents have a monumental responsibility to ensure that our children's moral compass always points true north. When our parents' beliefs align with ours, the job becomes much easier. It's always a good idea to have backup! Furthermore, we can come across as "preachy" or judgmental to our kids.
5. Maintaining our children's ties to the past
I believe I mentioned it before when we were discussing how living close to grandparents is the best gift we can give our children. But I'll bring it up again. One of the most important duties of a grandmother is to provide our children with a deep, tangible connection to the past. Our children learn not only about our rich family history but also about history in general, thanks to her. There is no better way to learn history than by connecting it to real-life stories. Reading about women gaining the right to vote, for example, isn't the same as hearing your grandmother describe what it was like when that right was added to the Constitution.
6. Educating our children
Every grandmother can teach their grandchildren something useful. I'm not just talking about "stereotypical" abilities here. After all, not every grandmother can cook or sew. Some may even teach our children how to change a tire! Others may teach children the lost art of letter writing. Learning new skills from grandma, like learning about the past, is more memorable because our children associate the lesson with love.
7. Simply being there for them when they need her the most.
All of this boils down to one thing: simply being present through thick and thin. Grandmothers have a way of being completely present when they are with their children. They aren't thinking about what to make for dinner, or how to pay the bills, or how to juggle 50 things at once. They make an effort to be present in mind, body, and spirit. Grandmothers simply provide our children with the most unconditional love possible.
A grandmother's presence is truly the best gift she can give our children. I'm sure anyone who has lost her will agree. They'd return every physical gift she'd ever given them if it meant just one more moment with her. The good news is that, according to one major study, our children spend more time with their grandmothers than any previous generation. Make sure you give them plenty of opportunities to put that extra time to good use, even if it's just on the phone or via Facetime. I promise they'll thank you later.
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